The Gun Club

The drive up the hill was a long one. As the car rolled up the narrow winding road, she looked at him. There he was, the best thing that had happened to her since puberty! His strong slender arms controlled the driving wheel precisely down the perilous road. He looked into her eyes and smiled. Though the journey was a long one, she was enjoying it. After all, she had him; she had time and she was happy. They were driving to his cabin. Located near a lake and surrounded by comforting trees, it was an ideal sport for them to celebrate their 3nd year anniversary. She hated long rides but this time it was different. This time, she was with him. This time the drive led them to a haven of love. He had recently dragged him to a gun club. She was reluctant at first but when she got a hang of it, she enjoyed the experience thoroughly. At one point, her shooting even scared her. She had never thought she would enjoy a sport as wild as shooting. But the feeling of cold steel on her skin, the shock of recoil on her shoulder and the power to decimate the target brought a strange comfort into her body. He had to gingerly drag her away as the night drew to an end. The anger that he had made her spend their anniversary night a gun club had faded away. Happiness crept in when he told her that the gun club was a prank and he had a surprise for her waiting at the cabin.


He had taken her to the gun club as a surprise anniversary present. He hoped that he would be able to reveal her ‘wild side’. The look on her face clearly showed a strong hint of anger with a touch of annoyance. He was never good at reading girls and he wasn’t ready for this. But something changed with time. After a few shots at the target, he could very clearly see a smile across her face. A smile which he found very scary. Why was this girl, who was into music and art; smiling while decimating a target with high velocity projectiles? Her accuracy was remarkable; needless to say she was as good as one of the guys. As each of her shots pierced the target, her smile grew. It was not the wild side he wanted to see in her. He hoped she would miss a few, slip a few and enjoy a few. He remembered the initial anger he had glimpsed. It was likely he was the target; she was imagining him in the target and shooting, taking her rage at it. He missed the girl in her when a plan flew into his mind. Ignore today and make a better tomorrow. His cousin had a cabin up a nice lonesome hill which looked by lake. It was the perfect artistic spot she would have loved to be at today. Today’s present will be a prank and tomorrow will be a surprise. It was clear that she was enjoying herself today so it would fit in perfectly. She would be escalated by the new surprise. He would visit the cabin, fill it with paint, brushes and canvas. Bring out the girl in her again, the girl he very much wanted to see right now. He glimpsed at her, firing off at the target, hitting it close to a man’s vital spot. He smiled. He was lucky, to get a girl who surprises him so much; To get a girl who would fit in with the guys; To get a girl who was his for the keeping, and he was hers. As he walked towards her, now with a smile on his face, he made a mental note for himself, “Keep her away from guns!”.

The Umbrella

He saw her today as he was walking towards his office building. To be more correct he didn’t see her face, but he recognized her immediately. The slow but gentle stride, the constant gaze at the ground and the aura of mystery which always floated about her. She had an umbrella in her hand to shield her from the intense sunlight but it also hid her face. As she got closer, the umbrella tilted a little, briefly revealing a part of her face. That cute cut of hair dropping over her eyes immediately confirmed who she was. He wondered why she was hiding her face. He was quite confident that she had seen him. He was loud and had a prominent presence in the group. From his perception, she must have seen him before he was able to spot her or her umbrella. Maybe she has forgotten him by now. After all, he was just another guy. They had never spoken nor had an eye contact which lasted more than a second. For her, he was just another stranger. Someone who came in her life like the cold winter breeze. But as summer was approaching, he should now be out of her life blowing away in the wind….



It was sunny and the rays bite her on her skin. She picked up an umbrella as she exited her office building. Then across the path, she saw him walking out of another building. Instinctively the umbrella lopsided down, hiding her face from his view. She hadn’t seen him for quite a while now. Even now, he was loud and stood out in his group of friends. She had spotted him from the distance. She smiled to herself, “He hasn’t changed a bit.” He was one of the few people who made her smile. Seeing him, brought a strange happiness and warmth inside her. But they had never spoken to each other, never even had an eye contact that lasted more than a second. She was after all a stranger to him. For some reason they had never approached each other. Maybe it was better this way. Not everyone is meant to be friends. She was comfortable with him just being a stranger and she felt that he thought of her in the same way. As he drew closer, she tilted her umbrella a little so she could see his face. But her hands voluntarily didn’t tip it enough and she just saw his lips, his smile. For her, that was enough. He was like the cool winter breeze which came in her life and went away as the summer approached. But winter will come again, someday. As smiled and continued walking, a thought crept across her mind, “If only I didn’t have this pimple on my chin, I might have smiled back at him!”

Why do women have boobs?

I came across a question that is not asked enough. Why are human females the only primates with big boobs? At this point, I would ask everyone who is repulsed by boobs (What is wrong with you!!!?), masturbation and human sexuality to redirect themselves to more mundane facebook trivia. I, a fellow boobist will now embark on a journey to explore boobs, something which has never failed to leave a majority our human population, utterly dumbfounded.
Both males and females are equally attracted towards a good boob. Imagine checking out a girl from behind and then she turns around and you go 'Damm!'. A question then asked, why this selective evolution has happened only amongst human females?

TVTroupes says "....in humans big breasts are a secondary sexual characteristic. There’s at least one hypothesis that humans’ bulked-up boobies are the results of bipedalism putting the usual primate attractor of round buttocks out of the eye-line, so selection pressure encouraged a similar structure higher up. Another hypothesis is that, while in other Great apes the mammary are only swollen when the female is nursing young, in adult human woman the breasts are full year-round, making it harder for the men to ascertain when the woman has her fertile period each month, so they guard her against rivals the whole time."

So it turns out that boobs could be a part of a defense mechanism for them to survive in this harsh harsh world!

Wiki Quotes "Zoologists point out that no female mammal other than the human has breasts of comparable size, relative to the rest of the body, when not lactating and that humans are the only primate that has permanently protuberant breasts. This suggests that the external form of the breasts is connected to factors other than lactation alone.Some zoologists (notably Desmond Morris) believe that the shape of female breasts evolved as a frontal counterpart to that of the buttocks, the reason being that while other primates mate in the rear-entry position, humans, because of their upright posture, are more likely to successfully copulate by mating face to face, the so-called missionary position. Morris suggested in 1967 that a secondary sexual characteristic on a woman's chest would have encouraged this in more primitive incarnations of the human race, and a face-on encounter may have helped found a relationship between partners beyond merely a sexual one.

The evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins has speculated that the loss of the penis bone in humans, when it is present in other primates, may be due to sexual selection by females looking for an honest advertisement of good health in prospective mates. Since a human erection relies on a hydraulic pumping system, erection failure is a sensitive early warning of certain kinds of physical and mental ill health."

Damm! Women gained in selective selection while we ended up losing! Not only that but our performance is now linked to mental health. God Dammit!
There is under no circumstance that I would believe breasts to be related to mammary feeding. We don't look at them and say "Oh!! She'll feed her children well and be a good mother." Adding to that you will never find a hetrosexual man or as a matter a woman who dislikes breasts. If someone does, then there is something definitely wrong with them. They're soft, warm, smooth and pretty; there is nothing to dislike. Men are hardwired to like breasts. Women like them because they have them and are aware of their awesomeness.
As Joey Tribbani said "You know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want." I would add to that "Women can touch breasts any time they want." My dear boys, we lost a great deal in Evolution. Little said, men aren't as obsessed with big boobs as much as they're obsessed with boobs in general. I don't think any guy will refuse a good set and will love one in what ever size it comes in. I have lived without them, I can't wait to live with them. So there you go women! Go out and flaunt them out.

F*cking Californication Baby !

After a night of Californication, I wondered to myself; is that f*cking possible in real life? One of my roommate had a culture shock during the series and it did leave most of us with eyes wide open. I correct that, it left all of us with eyes wide open and mouths gaping. In a sense, as my room-mate puts it, the series has every fantasy we all have ever had. And yet, I have yet to realize even one of them in real life. Not like I am looking to swim in a sea of pussies but it would feel a little bit better if my feet were at least in the water. We have lost the passion! Our hearts have become full sized aortic pumps which only know how to supply blood and oxygen to the fucking body. And now a days, with the number of illnesses, it can't even do that right.
I can't even remember the last time I heard a guy say 'I love you' to a girl. And girls don't do it, cause they don't have the fucking balls, theoretically speaking. There are instances, specially in relationship when the whole 'Ladies first' takes a back step and guys are supposed to take the initiative! Damm feminists loop holes! While we're being on the topic of holes, why do assholes have a better life than others? Its better to be a asshole and don't give a fuck. Cause if you do care, chances are you might end up being 'hanged, beheaded, drawn and quartered, and-Oh! Oh, my personal favorite-and had their entrails cut out and burned!'. My rant for tonight is over. Its dark outside, considering its 3 a.m. but I'm sure there will be light soon. There will be light tomorrow and the sun will rise. So I hope that someone says " I love you " to someone else tomorrow (Verbally please! Don't use technology for once) and someone gets laid and has a good fucking Saturday night. If not me, I hope its you.